My daughter Katie was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 12 years old. Her treatment plan included a blood draw every 6 months, but we quickly realized this would be problematic. My wife Sara joined Katie for her first blood draw and Katie fainted during the appointment. Until that time, we had no idea Katie had a phobia of needles. Like any young kid, she freaked out if she got a splinter, but we didn’t think anything of it. After the blood draw incident, we realized it was a full-blown phobia. So, every six months our entire household went into crisis mode. Katie missed school days due to panic attacks. The day of the blood drawing was full of tears. I took over as the parent in charge of the blood draws and developed a routine with Katie. She put numbing cream on her arm exactly 30 minutes before our appointment. At the doctor’s office she fully lay down and closed her eyes. I would tell her a funny story about my childhood to keep her mind off the needle prick. It was quite the routine.

Katie spent years in therapy trying to overcome this fear of needles and after numerous therapists, she was finally comfortable enough that doctor appointments were now a minor annoyance, not a full-blown panic. Four years after her initial fainting spell, Katie came to us and told us she wanted to get a tattoo – the final step in conquering her fear of needles.

As Katie still had a fair amount of discomfort with needles, I went first to show her just how easy it was. If my daughter was brave enough to overcome her needle phobia, the least I could do was not cry about a little tattoo. And luckily for me, it really didn’t hurt and I ended up with a very nice dragon tattoo on my forearm. Katie got a small heart in the same place, and she now has over a dozen tattoos.

Unlike Katie, I didn’t run out and cover my body with more tattoos. The first one was special to me, and I couldn’t think of any other reason to get another tattoo. Not for a few more years anyway, after my youngest daughter Harper came out to us as transgender. Harper’s transformation in her last two years of high school is hard to describe. With support from her theater group at school and from her family at home, Harper has blossomed into the best version of herself. I know how difficult it is to be transgender in America today and wanted to show her my support in a way that made it clear I’m all in as an ally. So, I got another dragon tattoo, this time bathed in the colors of the trans flag. The look of surprise and excitement on Harper’s face told me I had hit the mark perfectly. Most of the time, I forget I even have tattoos. They are just there. But whenever I glance down or catch a glimpse in the mirror, I think of my kids and how much I love them. I might not say it out loud as much as I should, but my tattoos say it every day.